Licensed to... drive.

I've passed my road test!
Another step in the road to complete human development, checked off.
Maybe now I can learn to blog AND drive...

 Maybe not.

Spare me, please!

Why are all budding writers nervous when their work is read?

Writers create worlds. They give birth to lives, and even destroy them. They're responsible for happiness, sadness, love and hatred.
In short, they bare their own souls.
So, when the written form of their souls are read out, and exposed to scrutiny, it is understandable that they want the earth to swallow them whole.

And so, a humble request. If you are ever called to play editor, and the piece you've just read blows so bad you want to run a drill through your brain, inform the writer gently.
As gently as you can, having run a drill through your brain.

Back to work

Sorry about the lack of posts, what can I say?
Exams, that's what.
Exams are a horrible ordeal, but one we must all endure.
Bleh, it's over now.

The right threads.

Today I went out and bought myself a suit. Why is this mentioned here?
Because this trip was a revelation.

I don't normally enjoy going out clothes shopping, largely I think, because the prospect of taking off and putting on clothes, only to see that a shirt is too loose, or a collar is too high, is depressing.
But herein comes said revelation.

After a tradition of getting ready made suits that couldn't even be altered, I decided to actually check out one of these "couture" outlets.
And damn.
There is something to feeling draped in material that's as good as made JUST for you, a sort of comfortable hug from something that's likely to last you for at least a few years.
Having people with knowledge of measurements and fittings at the store also help. How was I to know what tie went with an off-pink shirt?(a lilac one, I was informed)

Sometimes, you've got to enjoy the little things.

The blurb...

Have you ever bought a book, based solely on the paragraph at the back of the book?
Well, you're not alone.
Interestingly enough, this humble little paragraph, sometimes responsible for hooking people into entirely new genres, is called a blurb. Seriously, no jokes. A blurb.

Here's my own book's blurb, tiny, but a little taste of what it's about.
Comments and critique, as always, are welcome!

"An elite assassin, trained to be an angel of death, is tasked with a mission she cannot complete...

The heir to a billion-dollar empire, his life is threatened by those who want him dead, along with a different kind of peril...

When their paths intersect, a conspiracy is uncovered.
It's head : unknown.
It's target : everything."

Accomplishments!

The fourth chapter of the book is finally done!
Completing a chapter is cause for a mini-celebration in itself, days of writing and erasing and scratching out and tearing out, leading to a finished section of an unfinished book.
The road to a complete novel is a long and arduous one, and each accomplishment must be celebrated!
Cheers!

Book Report : 50 Shades of Grey

No  doubt everyone's heard about this best seller by one E. L. James. Accurately described as "mommy porn", it really offers little else.
The story goes that Anastasia Steele, a college graduate, interviews a business magnate, Christian Grey, as a favour to her friend/roommate, who writes for their college newspaper. A few chance encounters see "Ana" asked out on a date by the young Christian, whose dark, brooding nature intrigues Ana. After being invited to his apartment, he reveals to her his infatuation with BDSM, and shows her his "playroom", a chamber containing all his tools for domination.

Saying the book has a plot, is like saying... Actually, it's lying. The characters are too thin, and show as much originality as an LOL with a straight face.
Ana has ZERO self confidence, expressed by her thoughts of constant self doubt and comparison("Does he like me?" "Did I just disappoint him?" "Why is she so good looking?").

The sex.
The book's been classified as an erotic novel. And that's it.
The funny thing about the sex scenes, is how Ana says that sex with Christian is the "best thing ever".
Why is that funny?
Because up until her Greyfication, she is a virgin.
That's right. Without any previous knowledge or yardstick WHATSOEVER, she deems him King of Clit.
Hmm.
"How his giant erect penis even fit in would puzzle me for days".
PLEASE! A Viennese hotdog would seem like a monster to her.

She's made to sign a contract with Grey, where she isn't allowed to tell anyone of their sexual encounters.
Which, by the way, include -
* Whipping
* Gagging
* Fisting ( read : Skewering)
And a lot more.
Sure, if a good looking rich guy does it to you, it's romance. If not, it's a crime.

Onto Christian Grey.
*Blank*
A young, successful entrepreneur, he's mysterious, brooding and authoritative.
Mm, what a delicious side of CLICHE!
He has a weird food thing, constantly trying to stuff Anastasia with food (overbearing much?), and turned on by stupid little things like her sucking at her lips.
Seriously?
Of all the things she could be sucking, her lips turn you on?
Owh Kaaay...

Oh, last but not the least, repetition. Here is a simple counter, to show exactly how narrow and expression-limited Ana and Christian are :

Word Count: 
"Oh My" - 79
"Crap" - 101
"Jeez" - 82
"Holy (shit/fuck/crap/hell/cow/moses)" - 172
"Whoa" - 13
"Gasp" - 34
"Gasps" - 11
"Sharp Intake of Breath" - 4
"Murmur" - 68
"Murmurs" - 139
"Whisper" - 96
"Whispers" - 103
"Mutter" - 28
"Mutters" - 23
"Fifty" - 16
"Lip" - 71
"Inner goddess" - 58
"Subconscious" - 82

Inner Goddess refers to her vagina, just FYI.

So that's that.
50 Shades of Grey is a great book, if you think a misogynistic entrepreneur with food issues dominating a wreck with no self esteem, all covered in overtly worded wrapping paper of sex, then this book will give you just that.